"Clash of the Titans"
Richard's Review: 3 1/2 stars
"Clash of the Titans," a remake of the much loved 1981 Ray Harryhausen stop motion epic, is part history lesson, part Saturday afternoon matinee popcorn flick. "Avatar's" Sam Worthington stars as Perseus, the half human, half god made famous by Harry Hamlin in the original film.
In the film's opening minutes Perseus is rescued from a watery grave by a weathered looking fisherman (Pete Postlethwaite) and his wife (who appears to be at least one hundred years younger than old Pete). Years later, a grown up Perseus (Worthington) witnesses the death of his adopted parents at the hands of Hades (Ralph Fiennes).
They are the unfortunate collateral damage of a war between the gods and the aggressive Argos, a warring culture determined to starve the gods of human prayers and thereby diminish their power. Temples are burned, statues toppled in the beginning of their heretical era of "man."
Hades makes a deal with the Argos -- if they sacrifice their princess he'll call off the attack of the dreaded Kraken, the most fearsome creature known to man or god, and save their civilization. Enter Perseus, who, as it turns out is a demigod and the only person alive capable of killing the Kraken and ending the tyranny of the gods. His odyssey is played out amid double crosses and much slow motion.
Like the original the cheese factor is high. Bring Lipitor. There's so much cheese on screen I could feel my cholesterol levels rising by the minute. From Zeus's (Liam Neeson in the role originally played by Laurence Olivier) shiny Olympus disco suit to the bad jokes that litter the script it's an unparalleled cheese fest. It's also a lot of fun.
After a slow start the action picks up with a battle between some giant not-so-soft-shelled crabs and an exciting show-down between Medusa (complete with a hairdo of snapping snakes) and Worthington and company. The battles with the mythical creatures are a holdover from the original, but where Harryhausen used plaster and steel armatures to bring the creatures to herky jerky life this time around they're made of binary code. It makes for a bigger spectacle, but are they better? Well, yes, in a way, but they are not as cool as Harryhausen's handcrafted creations.
Either way the action sequences are a blast but aren't aided by the murky 3D technology added in post production. In this post "Avatar" world convention Hollywood wisdom says that all action movies must be in 3D, but if this is what retrofitted 3D looks like, no thanks. Other than a bit of depth it doesn't add anything to the film, except a few extra dollars to the price of the ticket.
"Clash of the Titans" is good cheesy fun that pays homage to the original film.
"The Last Song"
Richard's Review: 2 stars
"The Last Song" has all the trademarks of a Nicholas Sparks romance. There's a love story between rich and poor, disease, divorce, unopened letters and a character who's just "trying to feel something again." And it has Miley Cyrus sans her blonde Hannah Montana wig. This time out she's an angry musical prodigy spending a summer vacation with her father, a man she barely knows.
Cyrus is Ronnie Miller, a troubled teen -- "Her grades are in the toilet and she doesn't have a friend without a pierced something," says her mother -- sent to stay with her estranged father for the summer in a small Southern beach town.
She's angry at her dad, and despite being a gifted pianist and earning a scholarship to Julliard, she hasn't played the piano for ages. She mopes around the small town until she meets Will, a chiselled volleyball player who helps her rescue a nest of sea turtle eggs. (I'm not kidding.) Through wildlife and mud fights they form an on-again-off-again relationship despite their differences. Enter into the mix a terminal illness, a burned church and a jealous ex and you have a story worthy of the Nicholas Sparks Story Generatorâ„¢.
"The Last Song" features Miley Cyrus in the kind of role Kristen Stewart excels in. The brooding, moody teenager act that Stewart has down pat doesn't come as easily to Cyrus who pitches her performance somewhere between an episode of "Hannah Montana" and a TV disease-of-the-week movie.
Given the pre-hype for the film I assumed this would be her adult debut, but given the tone of her performance the transition from child star to grown-up actress continues at a glacial pace. She has several emotional scenes here, and sheds a tear or two, but mostly her performance relies on tricks learned on the Disney stage -- eye rolling, running her hands through her hair and flashing her toothy smile. She has a movie star's charisma and warmth, but not the acting chops.
Greg Kinnear is there for support, but even he looks mildly bewildered at the Sparkisms in the script. It's a mixed bag of every romance cliché known to man, except the Fabulous Gay Confidantâ„¢. In his / her place is the wise little brother played by Bobby Coleman.
But, having said all that, a movie like "The Last Song" isn't about the plot or the acting or the clichés. It's like an Elvis movie. It's about the phenomenon that is Miley. Disney is very carefully easing her from TV star to movie star, and if the projects don't exactly radiate an adult sensibility, who cares? They are counting on the long term success. There is plenty of time for her to mature along with her fans, who, I'm sure, Disney hopes are in the Miley game for the long term.
"Sherlock Holmes" (DVD)
Richard's Review: 2 1/2 stars
Robert Downey Jr.'s entrance in the opening minute of "Sherlock Holmes" -- he leaps off a buttress, effortlessly rolls down a set of stairs stopping just in time for the camera to catch his close-up -- suggests that this isn't your father's -- or your grandfather's or mom's or anybody else's -- Sherlock Holmes. The ensuing kung fu battle and satanic ritual confirms it.
Set in 1891 the story centers on Holmes (Robert Downey, Jr.) and Watson (Jude Law), doctor, war veteran and best friend, getting to the bottom of a case involving the supernatural, an ex-flame (Rachel McAdams) of the great detective, The House of Lords and a deadly cult leader named Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong). It plays like Holmes meets "The DaVinci Code."
With "Sherlock Holmes" director Guy Ritchie created the darkest movie of the Christmas season. Mimicking the depressing fog and industrial smoke that colored Victorian London, he's made a drab and dreary looking movie that never met a shade of gray it didn't like. That would be fine if the story or the performances added some color to the film, but unfortunately for Holmes (and for the audience) not only is "Sherlock Holmes's" color palate a bit monochromatic but the whole film is a little on the dull side.
The story is suitably convoluted for a Holmes story, there is plenty of intrigue, much deducing and loads of clues. Trouble is, nothing much happens. The game may be afoot but it feels more like a loose collection of action sequences bound together by some witty "Odd Couple" style banter between the leads and Downey's quirky performance.
Downey plays Holmes like a cross between Robert Langdon and a Victorian street urchin. Apparently being brilliant means you don't have to wash. Or tuck your shirt in. Or shave or clean your fingernails. Downey throws out the image of the debonair Basil Rathbone Holmes in a deerstalker hat for something much more bohemian. In fact, it's closer to the description of the detective offered up in Conan Doyle's books and short stories. Downey plays the role with suitable gusto (and acceptable English accent), but is let down by a script that is a non-starter.
Downey has good chemistry with Jude Law but the same can't be said for Rachel McAdams as his love interest. Guy Ritchie isn't known for his way with female characters and in "Sherlock Holmes" she suffers for it. The movie wastes McAdams in a damsel in distress role that requires her to do little other than leer in Holmes's general direction. She's more a plot point than a character and it's a shame to see McAdams wasted like that. She gets lost in the über-maleness of it all.
"Sherlock Holmes" gets the spirit of Holmes but doesn't deliver the goods. Big budget action scenes are sprinkled throughout, but even the huge set pieces like the fight in the shipyard -- which must have cost a fortune -- contains no drama and the only real mystery here is how Guy Ritchie managed to take good elements -- like Robert Downey Jr and Sherlock Holmes, one of the most popular characters of the last one hundred years -- and make such a lackluster movie.
