"The Back Up Plan"
Richard's Review: 2 stars
I'm trying my best to understand the romantic comedy. Since January I (and by extension, anyone else who went to the theatre and bought tickets) have been punished by a series of cliched, hackneyed, tired, worn-out, stale, pedestrian, corny, banal, unoriginal… well, you get the idea… rom coms with titles like "Leap Year," "When in Rome" and "The Bounty Hunter." The latest one to come down the pike is "The Back Up Plan," a movie that begs the question: When do romantic comedy traditions stop being funny, or romantic, and become clichés?
Set in NYC (as all great rom coms are) but mostly shot in LA (I guess New York was busy that day) the Rom Com Script Generator â„¢ gives us Zoe, (Jennifer Lopez), a well-to-do, thirty-something pet store owner with a good apartment, a cute dog and a clothing budget that would bankrupt Ivanka Trump. What she doesn't have is a child.
With no husband or suitable boyfriend in the picture she turns to a fertility clinic but wouldn't you know it, on the very day that sperm sample CRO104 becomes the baby daddy she meets the man of her dreams in the most NYC of ways -- when he tries to scoop her cab.
He's Stan (Alex O'Loughlin) an eco friendly goat cheese vendor with a sculpted torso and a winning smile. She becomes his girlfriend and cheese muse, he becomes the de facto father to the child growing in her belly. They fall in love, fight, get back together again and rinse and repeat.
Structurally "The Back Up Plan" is so by-the-book it seems to transcend formula and almost work its way into heartfelt homage. By adhering so closely to the tried-and-true rom com playbook -- unlikely couple meets, falls in love, breaks up and (SPOILER! but only if you've never seen a romantic comedy!) gets back to together -- it becomes the latest entry in Hollywood's ongoing exercise in seeing how many ways the same story can be slightly reshaped, recycled and recast before audiences revolt.
Not that "The Back Up Plan" is the worst of the crop. It may share a story skeleton with several other recent films, but nothing plumbs the depths of "Leap Year," a film so bad even its star Matthew Goode has released a statement urging audiences not to see it. It's even better than "The Bounty Hunter" but despite a few genuinely funny moments -- a group for single mothers, or women without "penis partners" is a highpoint -- it relies on the usual mix of slapstick and romance (often in the same scene) and does neither of them very convincingly.
It's the kind of movie set in pregnant lady land where women are unable control their cravings and the Rom Com Script Generator â„¢ spits out dreaded exchanges like: "You're not making any sense." "No, all of a sudden everything makes sense." It's not that it's bad exactly, it's just that we've seen it all before.
"The Losers"
Richard's Review: 3 stars
Everything about "The Losers" is exaggerated. Things don't explode, they burst into fiery mushroom clouds. The body count is in the triple digits and why use a machine gun when you can use a bazooka? It has all the elements of a regular action flick, just more and, as an added bonus, one of the bad guys is from Quebec.
At the beginning of the film The Losers are five highly trained special ops soldiers (Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, and Oscar Jaenada) -- calling them losers is like calling a tall guy Shorty -- on a mission in Bolivia.
Their job is to locate and mark a terrorist's den so the air force can swoop in and lay down a heap of shock and awe. Minutes before bombs are scheduled to drop a busload of underage children arrive at the compound. The Losers try and call off the raid, but the high command -- a man named Max (Jason Patrick) -- refuses. Several very loud noises later The Losers are forced to fake their own deaths and go rogue. When a mysterious stranger (Zoe Saldana) shows up with a proposition they see a way to reenter the United States and get their revenge on Max.
Of course there's more to the story than that. There's next generation weapons, more international locations than a James Bond movie and an internationally wanted bazooka toting bad girl who dresses like a Guess model. This is a comic book movie -- it's based on a Vertigo DC series -- with comic book characters and a silly premise. The bad guy is engineering a global conflict to bring peace to the US. Huh? Duct tape saves the day (Red Green would be so proud). Double huh?
It's all a bit silly but since the movie doesn't take itself seriously neither should we. It's a fun ride that while bigger isn't necessarily better. There's a bit too much slo mo -- I think it's time we finally put an end to the "Reservoir Dogs" slo motion shot of the team walking toward the camera -- the ending is clearly set up for a sequel and the supposed good guys seem to take a bit too much pleasure in killing.
On the upside, however, the cast seems to be having a good time alternately delivering tough guy lines -- "You're going to die very badly" -- and typical action movie one liners -- "Everybody except for PETA wants her dead."
Actor wise as Clay Jeffrey Dean Morgan picks up where his character in "Watchmen" left off, and Zoe Saldana adds to her action movie reputation in a highly physical role that proves that Hit Girl isn't the most lethal female in the theatres this week. Idris Elba provides the closest thing to a fully rounded character, mostly because he isn't saddled with the one-liners the other guys have to spout.
"The Losers" is an action packed comic book romp that would make a better Saturday afternoon matinee than date night movie.
"Oceans"
Richard's Review: 4 stars
To really know the ocean, says narrator Pierce Brosnan, you have to see it, taste it and live it to feel its power. "Oceans," the spectacular new Disney nature film doesn't literally let you feel or taste the sea, but its beautiful and intimate photography will get you as close as possible to experiencing the ocean without actually getting wet.
Released just in time for Earth Day, "Oceans" is the evolution of "The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau." Technological advances allow "Winged Migration" co-directors Jacques Cluzaud and French star Jacques Perrin to go deeper and stay longer to capture a vivid portrait of life in the sea. Not strictly a documentary -- some scenes are staged -- it is more a travelogue of the earth's oceans and their citizens.
It may not fit the traditional definition of documentary but it certainly is cinematic. With a minimum of narration -- the weakest part of the film -- they present a dazzling array of images from a spectacular ballet of dolphins, diving birds and a school of sardines to a spider crab showdown that looks like an underwater version of Michael Jackson's "Bad" video. And there's drama too. A scene with sea turtle hatchlings and a flock of hungry frigate birds wouldn't be out of place in a Hitchcock film, but it's bloodless. There's nothing here that will upset the little ones.
It is a representation of life at its most basic. Sometimes it's as brutal as a Tarantino revenge drama -- a mantis shrimp pulls an arm off a crab and eats it in front of him. But often it's eye-poppingly beautiful with close-ups of creatures that look like they sprung from the depths of H. R. Giger 's imagination -- there are as many strange beasts here as in almost any sci fi movie -- and impressive wide shots of cascading schools of fish and dolphins leaping in and out of the water.
It'll entertain the eye, but it probably won't engage the brain in the same way. There isn't much in the sense of educational information -- for instance, we're told that the humpback whale is majestic and that penguins aren't very good "figure skaters" and not much more -- but it should spark kid's interest in the ocean and will certainly fire their imaginations. If nothing else it'll make adults crave sashimi.
The inevitable eco message about humans polluting the sea is effectively illustrated by a shot of a sea lion frolicking with a rusted shopping cart, but like the educational component of the film it's more a starting point for conversation with the kids over fish sticks after the movie than a complete lesson in conservation.
Much of the pleasure of "Oceans" is derived from seeing it on the big screen. The scale of the screen pales compared to the size of the ocean, but it is as up-close-and-personal as most of us will ever get to these strange and often wonderful creatures.
