RIO DE JANEIRO -- Ariane Fortin had waited so long to finally get her shot in the Olympic boxing ring, and after a controversial loss in the first round at the Rio Games, she was asking herself whether all the sacrifices she'd made to get there had been worth it.
"Not sure," she said after a split-decision loss to Dariga Shakimova of Kazakhstan. "But I'm sure that at the end of the line, I'll tell myself that it allowed me to experience great things anyways. It's a lot of disappointment, but it remains that I'm an Olympian, and that's something that will always remain.
"The most important thing is to be proud of my performance, and that's what I'm going to hold onto, despite the immensity of the disappointment."
Fortin, who considered quitting the sport after failing to qualify for the London Games four years ago, thought she had beat Dariga Shakimova of Kazakhstan in the 75-kilogram division, but the judges saw it differently.
Moroccan judge Hassan Mourdrikah scored the fight 39-37 in favour of Fortin while Greece's Evangelos Bougioukas had Shakimova winning 39-37. Danish judge Clause Bedemann scored two rounds to each fighter for a 38-38 draw.
An official with a tied score must choose the boxer he believes was the most active and landed the best and highest number of punches, and Bedemann chose Shakimova.
Fortin and her team were stunned.
"I thought (Fortin) had the match. She was more precise, a little bit more active," Canadian head trainer Daniel Trepanier said. "But when we saw the decision was taking a long time and we saw them playing with their pencils in the corner, we started to get nervous.
"In the last round, she showed her superiority. But well, the judges decided otherwise . . . It was a judgment, they see the fights differently from us. In any case, they don't share the same opinion."
Trepanier and the other members of the Canadian delegation needed to be cautious with their comments since Canada still has two boxers in contention. But a top executive with the national federation -- speaking on the condition of anonymity -- did not mince words.
"Our three boxers should be coming home from the Games with a medal," said the official. "Denmark and Greece have just deprived us of one.
"It's scandalous."
Fortin was also careful with her comments, saying she didn't want to "speak against the AIBA," the sport's world governing body.
"I really thought I had it, especially since I started strong and ended strong," the 31-year-old fighter from St-Nicholas, Que., said, adding that the second and third rounds were close.
"Even if you want to give her the second and third, you have to separate them at 38-38. You're supposed to give the fight to the person who brought the action throughout the match. And at that level..." she said, trailing off.
The president of Boxing Canada, who sits on AIBA's executive committee, also had trouble making sense of the decision. While there are five judges scoring the fight, only three are used to tabulate the result.
"We decided to go with five judges in order to be completely transparent," Pat Fiacco said. "Once they take their positions around the ring, a computer chooses at random the three judges whose points will be used. Those of the other two aren't seen by anyone. I have to be careful in my comments, but I believe she should have won the fight. While staying objective, I am convinced that anyone who saw the fight gave it to Ariane."
Boxing has long struggled with corruption allegations among judges.
"I'm weighing my words, because I don't want to be that person who complains about the judges," said Fortin, her voice breaking with emotion. "I'm very proud of myself on all levels . . . I can have no regrets over the things I've done or not done. I'm someone who is fundamentally positive and for me, it's important to stay that way. The system is what it is. I hope to have better memories (when I hang up my gloves)."
Fortin had contemplated hanging them up four years ago when she lost to Mary Spencer at the Canadian trials for the 2012 Olympics.
Quitting was a real possibility, to the point that even though she needed new headgear she decided not to spend the $130 since she thought she might never need to use it again.
Everything changed when she beat Spencer not once, but twice, to take over her spot on the national team. That got her back to the gym for some serious training.
While she questioned the decision to keep going sometimes, her results were encouraging.
Fortin finished third at the world championships and second at both the Pan American championships and the 2014 Commonwealth Games. And last March, she defeated Andreia de Oliveira Bandeira in the semifinals of a qualification tournament in Argentina to earn her spot in Rio.
While she'll leave here disappointed, she said she doesn't want to be defined by her Olympic experience.
"In coming to the Olympic Games, I said I didn't want to judge my career based on what I did here," she said. "It's not true that we judge 15 years on one tournament. I'm very proud of my performance. For the moment, that's what I'm going to focus on."
