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Chair hogs, dining divas and boorish boozers: Is cruising etiquette lost at sea?

So you're setting off on a cruise and plan on leaving your landlubber worries behind. That's fine -- but bring your manners and etiquette with you. (JamesBrey/iStockphoto/Getty Images) So you're setting off on a cruise and plan on leaving your landlubber worries behind. That's fine -- but bring your manners and etiquette with you. (JamesBrey/iStockphoto/Getty Images)
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You鈥檙e on a cruise in the buffet line. You鈥檙e politely waiting your turn to access a sumptuous bowl of fresh fruit. In front of you is a fellow passenger picking out certain berries 鈥 with their fingers!

The ultraselective and handsy fruit looter who committed this cruising faux paus did it in front of none other than Nick Leighton, a frequent traveler and host of the weekly etiquette podcast 鈥溾

It can get worse. Angel Wilson, travel advisor and owner of , witnessed a cruising incident that makes the fruit bowl breach seem benign. She recently told CNN Travel via email about an unsettling incident:

鈥淎 group of us were sitting at a long table in one of the bar venues on a ship and an intoxicated Scotsman came up to us and asked if we鈥檇 like to see what 鈥榬eal Scots wear under their kilts.鈥 He then proceeded to flash us, from the front,鈥 said Wilson, who is a cruise specialist.

When it comes to uncouth, uncultured and downright unacceptable behaviour on ships, experts in travel etiquette and cruising have seen it all. Below they share plenty of bad behaviours for passengers to avoid (and good ones they should emulate).

Don鈥檛 start your cruise on the wrong foot

Bad etiquette can start before the ship ever leaves port. Being late, disorganized and impatient during boarding sets the wrong tone for the whole trip.

Maryanne Parker of the website reminds passengers that 鈥渂eing on time for our own departure is very important. 鈥 We need to make sure that we have all of our documents ready to be presented. Patience is a key component.鈥

Being on time carries over to the rest of the cruise, too, such as shore excursions. 鈥淚f we are with a group, we should make sure that we are not late and we didn鈥檛 forget any documents,鈥 Parker said in an email interview.

Now this is a true prize on a cruise ship 鈥 empty lounge chairs. If you're ready to soak up some sun, have at it. But don't park your stuff on a chair and walk away for five hours. (Jeff R Clow/Moment RF/Getty Images)

Chair squatting

It鈥檚 a quintessential cruising experience 鈥 hanging out on the deck enjoying the sun and sea. And it鈥檚 prime territory for mannerly malfeasance.

鈥淒on鈥檛 be a chair hog. 鈥 It鈥檚 the No. 1 complaint on cruises,鈥 said Leighton. 鈥淭his is when somebody gets up at, you know, crack of whenever, runs to the pool deck, puts down blankets and all their stuff, and then disappears for hours, goes back to bed, maybe goes to have breakfast, maybe does something else and that chair is just now sitting vacant for hours and hours and hours.鈥

But wait 鈥 don鈥檛 cruise lines have rules against seat saving?

They do, Leighton said. , has a policy of removing your items if you leave for more than 40 minutes. But 鈥渃ruise lines, I think, are also not doing a great job of policing their own rules.鈥

Leighton said this a recipe for maritime conflict.

鈥淚t really is tricky to put the burden on the passenger to try to enforce this because I don鈥檛 recommend taking someone鈥檚 stuff off of their chair. 鈥 That鈥檚 gonna be real awkward when they come back 鈥 if they ever come back,鈥 Leighton said. Instead, report it to a cruise staffer.

Parents, it's your job to make sure your energized kids don't get so wild around the pool that they disrupt other passengers. (Solarysys/Alamy Stock Photo)

No kidding around

Bad deck energy extends to the pool area and other zones as well.

Naturally, kids can get pretty darn excited around a pool (and really, anywhere on the ship.) That doesn鈥檛 mean parents should surrender all control.

Cruise Critic, the online cruising advice and news site, that while you鈥檙e poolside with the kids, caution them 鈥渘ot to do that cannonball and splash people sunbathing nearby.鈥

Wilson has further advice: 鈥淯nless the children are in the ship鈥檚 kids鈥 club, the parents should be watching them. Remind children that running down hallways screaming is rude. Try to use inside or whisper voices in the hallways.鈥

Elevators can be a logjam on ships. Don't push your way onto an elevator while other users are trying to exit. (Ramunas Bruzas/Alamy Stock Photo)

Elevator agitators

Vertical travel within a cruise ship is another place where things can go sideways.

What gripes Wilson? 鈥淧eople trying to push into an elevator as people are still trying to get off of the elevator. Everyone should be allowed to exit the elevator before anyone tries to enter it,鈥 she said.

Wilson noted a brief ease-up in bad elevator manners. Emphasis on brief.

鈥淓arly post-pandemic, it was clear that people expected much more personal space on the elevators. Unfortunately, people are starting to go back to the pre-Covid squeeze, which makes for a lot of very disgruntled passengers, who are very uncomfortable with this break in the new etiquette,鈥 she said.

No one is going to begrudge you a couple of relaxing drinks at sea. But an intoxicated passenger is often an obnoxious passenger. (NAPA/Alamy Stock Photo)

Cruising for a boozing

So you like pi帽a coladas? That鈥檚 OK. Just don鈥檛 be obnoxious about it.

鈥淜now your personal drinking limits!! No, it鈥檚 not cute that you鈥檙e so drunk you can鈥檛 even walk or you鈥檙e flashing your penis to people or vomiting in pools,鈥 Wilson said. 鈥淒on鈥檛 yell at bartenders because it鈥檚 taking too long to get a drink. They鈥檙e working hard and going as fast as they can.鈥

Parker had a couple of sobering reminders about the consequences 鈥 from embarrassing to deadly 鈥 of overindulging.

Before going on a bender, remember that 鈥渨e will be seeing the same people for at least another week or two. Also, being intoxicated is very dangerous while being on a cruise 鈥 we read about scary reports every single day,鈥 she said.

And Leighton reminds people to know 鈥 and follow 鈥 your cruise line鈥檚 rules about bringing your own booze onto a ship. (Here鈥檚 the policy for and ).

Lots of hungry passengers dine in the cruise ship Costa Fortuna. Dining rooms and buffets are important places in which to bring your etiquette A game. (Frans Lemmens/The Image Bank Unreleased/Getty Images)

Food fights

Don鈥檛 be a buffoon at the ship鈥檚 buffets, our experts cautioned.

Looking 鈥減resentable and clean鈥 is a must, Parker said. 鈥淲e do not need to go an extra mile, but looking sloppy, unkempt and dirty is extremely unpleasant to all of us.鈥

Leighton reminds cruisers to be kind to the staff 鈥 especially during mealtimes.

鈥淭hings go wrong. You might get the wrong meal. Your steak might be overcooked. 鈥 Nobody is trying to sabotage your vacation on purpose. If we do ever have an issue, I think we just want to be polite about it.鈥

And Wilson has a good reminder whether at sea or on land: 鈥淚f you touch it, you take it. Period. Don鈥檛 put it back. Go throw it in the trash if you like, but do NOT put it back. Please wash those hands and/or use sanitizer whenever entering a dining venue.鈥

Guests enjoy evening entertainment on the MSC Euribia. Show the entertainers and your fellow passengers some courtesy -- don't walk out in the middle of an act and put your phone on vibrate. (Anthony Devlin/Getty Images)

Don鈥檛 be a showtime show-off

Wilson had a couple of etiquette reminders if you鈥檙e taking in some evening entertainment.

鈥淚f there鈥檚 a chance you might walk out, do NOT sit towards the front. It鈥檚 so disrespectful to the performers to see people walking out of shows while they鈥檙e performing. At least wait till they鈥檙e between songs or scenes,鈥 she said.

鈥淚f you must utilize your phone during a performance, please turn the screen brightness all the way down. Please silence all notifications and calls.鈥

A lovely view of Opunohu Bay in Moorea, French Polynesia. You know what's not so lovely? X-rated escapades on such balconies, which aren't that private to prying eyes. (LindaTancs/iStockphoto/Getty Images)

Not-so-private balconies

It鈥檚 a fact 鈥 a sea voyage can be a time for romance and vigorous expressions of love. But it鈥檚 not time for X-rated public exploits on your stateroom balcony, which can be seen by folks on land and other ships.

鈥淚f you don鈥檛 want security to see it or for it to possibly be seen on the internet or used as an example in a cruise line gameshow, don鈥檛 do it on the balcony,鈥 Wilson said.

鈥淎lso, every balcony has a neighboring room, please keep the music to a reasonable level. Not everyone has the same taste in music.鈥

If you need a smoke break, give your fellow passengers a break and light up in a designated area. Remember that not all outdoor areas are smoking zones. (VvoeVale/iStockphoto/Getty Images)

Puff goes the vacation

Also, smoking is prohibited on many ships鈥 cabin balconies, . The smoke can also .

If you want to take a smoke break during your voyage, check with your cruise lines鈥 most recent rules, which can be subject to change.

that 鈥渟moking is permitted in designated outdoor areas, must be properly disposed of, and never be thrown overboard.鈥 Cunard allows smoking only in designated areas of open decks and a cigar lounge, which allows only cigars and pipes.

Standards might differ

One other reminder the etiquette and cruising experts had: Etiquette expectations might differ depending on the cruise line and the area where the ship is going.

鈥淭here is a difference between the Caribbean vibe on a cruise and the European one,鈥 Parker said. 鈥淭he dress code will definitely differ. If we are traveling to the Caribbean, the weather is warm and humid year-round. People expect us to look very relaxed and revealing. Visiting Europe, the dress code is definitely more formal, and the people are more traditional.  We also need to consider the seasons and prepare for it.鈥

Wilson just took an 18-night cruise in Japan in April and also noticed cultural differences.

鈥淧eople held doors for others more and just seemed to be more conscious of the people around them. The elevator squeeze is much more frowned upon on Asian cruises for sure.鈥

And 鈥渙n luxury cruises vs. mass market, the dress code is definitely elevated, no matter the destination,鈥 Wilson said.

In the end, Leighton said basic good manners applicable to living in general will serve you on a cruise ship.

鈥淎s long as you鈥檙e using the sort of baseline manners of just wanting to be respectful and mindful and making an effort to just acknowledge that other people exist, that is what is important here,鈥 Leighton said. 鈥淎nd yes, if you can also incorporate the local etiquette of where you are 鈥 that鈥檚 a nice bonus. But as a baseline, I鈥檒l just take good manners.鈥

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