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At the Florida Man Games, tank-topped teams compete at evading police, wrestling over beer

Competitors battle in a muddy pool with weapons made from pool noodles at the Florida Man Games on Saturday, Feb. 24, 2024, in St. Augustine, Fla. (AP Photo/Russ Bynum) Competitors battle in a muddy pool with weapons made from pool noodles at the Florida Man Games on Saturday, Feb. 24, 2024, in St. Augustine, Fla. (AP Photo/Russ Bynum)
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St. Augustine, Fla. -

They rose up by the dozens from across Florida, caricatured competitors in tank tops and cutoff shorts, for a showdown that treats evading police and wrestling over beer like Olympic sports.

Promoted as 鈥渢he most insane athletic showdown on Earth,鈥 the Florida Man Games poke fun at the state鈥檚 reputation for bizarre stories that involve brawling, drinking, gunfire, reptile wrangling and other antics carrying a risk of time in jail or intensive care.

The games kicked off Saturday with the 鈥淪tar Spangled Banner鈥 played on electric guitar. Then spectators crowded around a tent to watch competitors chow down on a plateful of barbecue pork and a pair of sausages to see who could finish first.

James Gordon of DeLand, Fla. won the meat match by a fraction of a second, then chugged a beer to celebrate.

鈥淚鈥檝e lived in Florida my whole life,鈥 Gordon said after washing sauce from his hands and beard. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e calling these events. I鈥檓 calling this (expletive) Tuesday afternoon.鈥

Several thousand people paid real money to come cheer a dozen teams at the debut event in St. Augustine, Fla., as well as contests and sideshows inspired by real events from America鈥檚 most surreal state.

鈥淚 have an absolute disregard for self-preservation. I will do anything,鈥 said Larry Donnelly, 42, who owns a St. Augustine pressure-washing business and serves as captain of the five-man team Hanky Spanky. 鈥淲hen I was in the military, I did a little alligator wrestling.鈥

To train for the games, Donnelly rode a bicycle around his neighborhood with a second bike strapped to his back. His event Saturday: a race requiring competitors to switch between bikes while toting a catalytic converter and a handful of copper pipes, common items in Florida theft stories.

Other events involve contenders wrestling sumo-style while holding pitchers of beer, or running from actual sheriff's deputies while jumping fences and avoiding obstacles. Some signed up to duel with pool noodles over a mud-filled pool, while others faced a scramble to grab cash flying in simulated hurricane winds.

Florida Man Games organizer Pete Melfi said he was stunned to find nobody else had beaten him to the ripped-from-headlines idea for a spoof sporting event. He expected more than 5,000 spectators paying US$45 or more per ticket to join the fun at the city's Francis Field.

鈥淲e kind of give a person an opportunity to live a day in the life of Florida man without ending up in a cop car,鈥 said Melfi, who runs the St. Augustine media outlet The 904 Now. But he had to tone down some racier aspects of the Florida Man mythos to obtain a permit.

鈥漈here鈥檚 typically drugs and nudity,鈥 he said. 鈥淏ut the city frowned on it when I asked for drugs and nudity.鈥

The 鈥淔lorida Man鈥 phenomenon seeped into the nation's conscience thanks in part to a Twitter account that started in 2013 with the handle @_FloridaMan. The account touted 鈥渞eal-life stories of the world's worst superhero,鈥 sharing news headlines such as 鈥淔lorida Man Bites Dog to 鈥楨stablish Dominance鈥欌 and 鈥淔lorida Man Tried to Pay for McDonald鈥檚 With Weed.鈥

Florida's claim to being the strangest state goes back much further, said Craig Pittman, a Florida journalist who wrote the book 鈥淥h, Florida! How America's Weirdest State Influences the Rest of the Country.鈥 He noted that the first flag to fly over its state Capitol in 1845 bore the motto 鈥淟et Us Alone.鈥

Apparently nobody listened. Florida today has 22 million residents, the third largest population of any U.S. state. And they all share roads, beaches and timeshares with more than 130 million tourists per year.

鈥淵ou cram that many people together, they鈥檙e bound to start running into each others' cars and chasing each other with machetes,鈥 Pittman said.

Leading up to Saturday's games, Joshua Barr and his Cooter Commandos teammates spent time whipping up fan support on Facebook with posts showing the trio chugging Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and jogging in jean shorts and mirrored sunglasses. Their team name comes from a turtle species celebrated by their hometown of Inverness.

The Commandos didn't stop with online promotion and trash-talking of rival teams. Barr, a 37-year-old movie reviewer and podcaster, said they also printed T-shirts, temporary tattoos and a large custom flag to wave on the field.

鈥淲e might be taking it more seriously than most people," Barr said. 鈥淵ou kind of just have to be a part of the joke at this point.鈥

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