THE CROODS: A NEW AGE: 3 ½ STARS
Seven years after DreamWorksā āThe Croodsā reinvented and recycled āThe Flintstones,ā minus the brontosaurus ribs, for a new generation comes a sequel, āThe Croods: A New Age,ā now in theatres, available soon as a digital rental.
At the start of the new movie the Croods - Grug and Ugga Crood (Nicolas Cage and Catherine Keener) and their kids daughters Eep (Emma Stone) and Sandy (Randy Thom), son Thunk (Clark Duke) and Gran (Cloris Leachman) - have outgrown the cave. In the search for a new, safe home they come across a colourful paradise with walls to protect them from attack and plenty of food.
āIt sucks out there,ā says Ugga (Catherine Keener). āItās so much better here. Out there if no one has died before breakfast itās a win.ā
As they settle in they find theyāre not alone. The Bettermans, Phil (Peter Dinklage), Hope (Leslie Mann) and daughter Dawn (Kelly Marie Tran), a family a rung or three up on the evolutionary ladder already live. They have modern conveniences like windows, irrigation, separate bedrooms and more.
āItās called a shower. You should try it!ā The modern stone age family looks down on the Croods. In fact, theyād more rightly be named The Betterthans.
When peril comes their way the Croods and the Bettermans, despite their differences, learn they have more in common than they thought. In this story thereās room for both brains and brawn.
āThe Croods: A New Ageā hasnāt evolved much since 2013.
Like the first movie it is still jam packed with loads of caveman comedy and Paleolithic physical action. The new one has a strong message of female empowerment and the recycles the originalās theme of adversity actually bringing people closer together. Itās a winning, if familiar, combo until the noisy, frenetic ending that, while eye popping, is all sound and fury without much payoff.
The voice cast gamely delivers the story. Itās fun to hear Cage as Grug Crood actually have some fun with a role these days. Itās a welcome step away from his direct-to-the-delete-bin action movies heās been choosing lately. Stone brings a spirited and adventurous edge to cavegirl Eep, and Reynolds, as the romantic lead, proves that his comic timing translates very well from live action to animation. They trade the often-ridiculous dialogue with ease, milking maximum humour from the script.
āThe Croods: A New Ageā is chaotic fun, a movie aimed squarely at kids with just enough jokes about raising a family to keep parents interested.
STARDUST: 2 STARS
There is music in āStardust,ā the new David Bowie biopic starring Johnny Flynn, in theaters and digital and on-demand platforms. Unfortunately, none of it is David Bowieās music.
The year is 1971, a year before David Bowie (Flynn) achieved superstardom with āThe Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.ā Heās a one-hit wonder with little support from his record label and a new record languishing on the charts.
āI need you to give me a song I can sell,ā says manager Tony Defries (Julian Richings). āIf you canāt do that, I need you to give me a person I can sell.ā
Sent on a low-budget promo tour of the United State, the singer arrives with a suitcase filled with stage wearāāThatās a manās dress actually,ā he tells a nosy customs officialābut no work visa.
āWith the paperwork you have all you can do is talk,ā heās told by his American contact, Mercury Records publicist Ron Oberman (Marc Maron) as they hop into Obermanās wood panel station wagon and head off to try and create a buzz for an obscure artist who thinks of himself as filling āthe gap between Elvis and Dylan.ā
Oberman skirts the rules and finds the odd (emphasis on odd) gig for his client. In one of the filmās desperate attempts to avoid playing Bowieās music, Oberman arranges a show at a vacuum cleaner sales conference. In front of a disinterested crowd the singer strums āGood Olā Jane,ā a Velvet Underground sound-a-like song written for the film.
The odd couple stay the course, criss-crossing the country. Between shows, arguments and the occasional press interview Bowie formulates his breakthrough image, the androgynous glam rock star Ziggy Stardust.
āStardustā isnāt a terrible movie but it also isnāt, as advertised, a David Bowie biopic.
The first words we see on screen are āWhat follows is mostly fiction,ā and while I realize that biographies must take liberties, I thought the movie lacked the thing that was at the core of Bowieās life and work, and thatās originality.
āStardustā is a startlingly conventional movie about a man who was anything but. The film is a generic artist coming-of-age story with dialogue that feels borrowed from other show biz flicksā"I think youāre going to be the biggest star in America,ā Oberman gushes at one point.āand music that in no way hints at the revolutionary sounds percolating in Bowieās head.
You wonder why director Gabriel Range, who co-wrote the script with Christopher Bell didnāt fictionalize the story à la āVelvet Goldmine,ā and create a whole new world to explore.
With no access to Bowieās musicāthe musicianās estate denied Range the rights to the tunesāāStardustā attempts to recreate the era with covers the real Bowie performed around this time, like "I Wish You Would" by the Yardbirds and Jacques Brelās "My Death.ā This approach has worked before in films like āBackbeat,ā the story of the early days of The Beatles and the Jimi Hendrix biopic āJimi: All Is by My Side,ā but here the absence of Bowie songs is deafening.
BLACK BEAUTY: 3 STARS
Anna Sewell's timeless classic āBlack Beauty,ā now streaming on Disney+, is given an update in a gentle, family-friendly take on a girl and a horse who āshare the same Mustang spirit.ā
The titular character is a wild horse, born to roam free until she is rounded up, taken from her family and sent to Birtwick Stables where she is to be trained and sold off to the highest bidder. Meanwhile, Jo Green (Mackenzie Foy of āTwilightā and āThe Conjuringā) has lost her immediate family and is sent to live with her horse trainer Uncle John (Iain Glen).
Feeling lost, sheās unhappy and unfamiliar with life at the stables. Soon though, a bond forms between her and the Mustang named Black Beauty. Somehow, they see themselves reflected in one another.
āYouāve gotten closer to that filly in days than I have in weeks,ā says Uncle John. āThey say a horse picks you.ā
Later, when itās time for Black Beauty to move along top a new owner, Jo protests. āIf I fought for every horse I ever loved,ā Uncle John says, āIād have a hundred of them.ā
āI donāt want a hundred horses,ā Foy responds. āI just want one.ā
And so it goes, the connection between a girl and her horse remains unbroken, despite the ups and downs in both their lives.
This version of āBlack Beautyā features a first, two female leads, Foy and Kate Winslet. The Oscar-winning Winslet supplies the voice of Black Beauty in narration, in calm, measured tones that suggest sheās reading the inside of a schmaltzy Hallmark greeting card.
āA true mustang never gives up on hope and love,ā she whinnies.
It has also dialed back much of the rough stuffāthereās no enforced labour pulling London cabs for instanceāthat younger viewers may have found distressing in the original story, but there are still some emotional scenes that will pull at the heartstrings of young and old.
āBlack Beautyā errs on the side of sentimentality, favouring uplift over real edge, but while the smoothed-down version has changed some of the details of Sewell's story but the underlying messages of loyalty and kindness to animals remain the same.
FATMAN: 2 STARS
āFatman,ā a new film starring Mel Gibson as Chris Cringle and Walton Goggins as a hitman hired to kill him now playing on VOD, is another entry into the great Winter pastime of arguing whether or not certain films can be classified as Christmas movies.
Does a December 24th setting, holiday music, a Grinchy villain in the form of Hans Gruber and a hero who says, āNow I have a machine gun, ho, ho, ho," after killing a man make āDie Hardā a Christmas movie? It depends on your definition and Iām guessing that same metric will apply to āFatman.ā
Gibson is Cringle a.k.a. Santa Claus, a disillusioned holiday icon upset with the commercialization of Christmas.
āMaybe itās time I retired the coat,ā he says to Mrs. Claus (Marianne Jean-Baptiste). āIāve lost my influence. Iām a silly fat man in a red suit. Christmas is a farce and I am a joke. There hasnāt been any Christmas spirit for years.ā
After a string of bad Christmases, heās broke and forced to take on a military contract making control panel for bomber jets to keep the elves employed and pay his electric bill.
āI should have charged a royalty for my image,ā he grumbles.
Meanwhile a wealthy pre-teen Patrick Bateman type, upset that he received a lump of coal in his stocking, hires an unhinged hitman known as the Skinny Man (Walton Goggins) to assassinate (Not So) Jolly Old St. Nick.
āDo you think youāre the first?ā Santa asks him. āDo you think I got this job because Iām fat and jolly?ā
āTis the season for carnage and bloodshed.
There is a message in āFatman,ā but it isnāt about goodwill to all men. Itās an essay on humanityās failings, a lack of morals or fear of consequences. How the stuff that makes Christmas specialāfamily, generosity, happiness and joyāhave somehow been erased in todayās world. We know this because Gibson mumbles and grumbles about it non-stop before the shootout at Santaās Workshop eats up most of the filmās last half hour.
So, is āFatmanā a Christmas movie? Not really.
In fact, it canāt seem to make up its mind what it wants to be. Itās by turns bleak, cartoonishly violent and brutal, all blanketed in a shroud of dark humour. Itās all over the place, a concept in search of a tone. Itās not completely ho-ho-ho-horrible, but if this Santa Claus comes to your town, you better watch out.
BELUSHI: 4 STARS
John Belushi was only famous for five years before his untimely death at age 33 but in that short time his unique comedic quality left an indelible impression that resonates almost forty years later. A new documentary, now streaming on Crave, looks at his meteoric rise and tragic fall.
Director R.J. Cutler uses the usual devices to tell the story. He mixes and matches archival material, animation, ephemera from Belushiās lifeāhandwritten letters, home movies etcāand news footage but his ace in the hole, the thing that gives āBelushiā its emotional wallop, are the audio interviews that tell the story.
In 2012 author Tanner Colby released a book called āBelushi: A Biography,ā an oral history of the life and times of the āSNLā star. Colby did dozens of interviews with the people who knew Belushi best, Lorne Michaels, Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramis, and friends and family, including Johnās wife Judith. Those interviews form the backbone of the film, bringing with them a conversational, intimate and wistful feel.
The story beats are familiar. An uber talented rebel with a sensitive side finds enormous fameāat one point he had the number one comedy show on TV, movie in theatres and album on the chartsābut is undone by personal demons. Thatās the story in broad strokes. Filling in the small details is the expertly edited oral history who provide first hand details and impressions on Belushiās life.
Most devastating of all are the handwritten letters from John to Judith that Cutler brings to life. From the playful tone of the early letters sent while they were courting to the final notes, written in desperation as drugs and depression debilitated the actor, these notes, written in a messy scrawl and often containing funny self-help lists, provide more insight into the Belushiās mind frame that no talking head interview could ever hope.
āBelushiā has gaps. The warts and all depiction of Belushiās drug habits is front and center but the misogyny of the early āSNLā days, for instance, is brushed over in a quick passage.
Having said that, the doc packs an emotional punch in its final moments as Belushiās nearest and dearest express regret for allowing their friend to lapse back into heavy drug use. It is heartbreaking stuff on a personal level for them. For the rest of us, as Belushi fans, the cutting short of his potential feels like a cautionary tale of excess and a tragedy of a talent taken way too soon.
ZAPPA: 4 STARS
In the early moments of āZappa,ā a new documentary now in select theatres and on VOD, iconoclast and rock icon Frank Zappa tells an audience, āIt wonāt be perfect, itāll be music.ā
Itās a sentiment that could also be applied to the Alex Winter (yes, itās Bill of Bill & Ted fame) directed doc. It isnāt perfect, there are glaring biographical omissions, but the eye-catching collection of home movies, concert footage, animation, news reels, and interviews is an intriguing look at a perfectionist whose gaze was always pointed at the future.
Although this is a mostly chronological look at Zappaās life, we first see the musician in a preface. The year is 1991 and Zappa is playing at Sports Hall in Prague, Czechoslovakia in a celebration of the withdrawal of Russian troops from the country. During what would be his last recorded guitar performance, he tells the cheering crowd, āPlease try and keep your country unique. Donāt change into something else. Keep it unique.ā
The movie then spends the next two hours showing why and how Zappa kept his career unique in an industry that would have preferred him to conform.
From his early years in Baltimore, where he made Super 8 films and soaked up the music of contemporary classical composers such as Edgard Varèse to early experiments working as a composer and an arrest for making a stag tape, the film paints a portrait of a man in search of artistic freedom. Later, his exacting musicianship blazes new trails with his aptly named band The Mothers of Invention.
āA lot of what we do is designed to annoy people,ā he says.
Mixing rhythm and blues, rock ān roll and doo-wop with avant-garde sound collages and orchestral arrangements their debut album āFreak Out!ā is said to be one of the inspirations for āSgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.ā
The experimentation that defined his career is illustrated by rare film clips from the Zappa archives and interviews with collaborators, including assorted Mothers and Bruce Bickford, the stop motion animator who created the trippy visuals for the film āBaby Snakes.ā Guitarist Steve Vai describes Zappa as āa slave to his inner ear,ā always trying to recreate the complicated sounds he heard in his head.
Those increasingly complex resonances manifested themselves in orchestra pieces like āLondon Symphony Orchestra, Vol. I,ā a self-financed project Zappa says he sunk money into simply to hear his music played properly.
Aside from never-before-seen musical performances āZappaā details Frankās war of words against the Parents Music Resource Council (PMRC), his stint as a trade ambassador for Czechoslovakia and his side gig as one of the first name musicians to create their own indie label Barking Pumpkin Records.
